Posted by Sean Patrick Simpson on 20 Nov 2012 / 0 Comment
Becoming a step parent is often looked at as hard, challenging and an endeavor that is full of effort. Considering I became an insta-parent overnight to a 4 and 9 year old, I know very well what it can be like to become a step parent so quickly.
I also know what it?s like to be a step parent in a non-marital relationship (before we got engaged, Sarah and I lived together for 2.5 years, but considered myself a step parent from very early on).
For those awesome people out there who are taking on this role through becoming a step parent (which is rewarding in a gazillion and one ways), here are some tips to navigate your experience. In fact, these tips will be useful for both step parents and parents alike?
1. View The Experience as Fun and Rewarding, Not Hard: When I typed into Google ?Becoming a Step parent,? some of the first things that came up were:
?Step parenting can be a challenging yet rewarding experience.?
?There?s no doubt that being a step parent is one of the most difficult roles any adult will ever assume.?
?There are a lot of different issues to do with being a step-parent.?
While all these ideas can be true, I?d like to suggest to you that it doesn?t have to be?
What about you? I?d love to hear in the comments what your experience has been and which of these tips resonate with you.
What it comes down to is the consciousness you bring into the relationship. Are you starting with the idea that it?s going to be hard, or are you starting with the idea that it?s going to be fun and rewarding?
The thoughts you choose when becoming a step parent will pre-determine the energy of the experience.
Focus on the fun. Focus on the rewards. Focus on the joy and the laughter you can bring to the family. In fact, those are manifesting tips 101! Bring this energy into everything you do.
2. Become Their Friend: This isn?t just about being a parent and demanding respect. It?s about being a friend. As with anyone, you must earn the kids respect. You do this not as a tactic or a strategy, but by adopting this as a way of life. Especially in the early days of becoming a step parent, leave the handling of rules to your partner. It?s not your place quite yet. Intuition is a beautiful thing, and for me, when it was time to start ?parenting,? there were already the foundations for respect and friendship with the kids. Follow your intuition here as well and simply focus on the friendship.
3. Treat Them Like People, Not Kids: One of the easiest ways to become friends with your kids and earn their respect is to treat them like actual people!
Your role as a parent OR step parent is not one of a disciplinarian, it?s one of a conscious teacher. What if you were able to have fun and laugh with your kids in the same way you do with your friends?
Sarah and I have such an incredible relationship with Thomas and Olivia. Why? Because we treat them like people. We don?t talk down to them as if they don?t understand ? kids are smarter than you think! You can joke, laugh, tease, play? All you need to do is stop looking at them as kids. Look at them as people. Real people, who just like you and I, like to have fun.
If you start to get tired and the kids begin to get out of hand and ?keep going? with the playing, it?s not your time to snap. It?s time for you to consciously teach: both yourself and the kids. Know your own internal warning signs. Take yourself away. Or if you can?t, consciously teach the kids how and when it?s time to start calming and toning it down. Teach them the importance of being aware and sensing other people?s energy and how to interact with it.
Becoming a step parent can be easy?
To summarize, simply create and hold the intention that it will be easy. Next, go into the experience creating respect and friendship. And finally, treat your new step-kids like real people, not kids!
What about you? What are your tips on manifesting a great experience as a parent or step parent?
I?d love to hear your thoughts, ideas and tips on becoming a step parent in the comments below.
Sean Patrick Simpson
Sean Patrick Simpson is the co-founder of ?lska Publishing and the bestselling Adventures In Manifesting series. Sean is a passionate entrepreneur, quirky and enthusiastic individual, who thrives on leading the ?lska team and growing the company with his love Sarah Prout.
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Source: http://www.adventuresinmanifesting.org/featured/becoming-a-step-parent-can-be-easy/
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