3 Reasons Why DC Starbucks Baristas Writing ?Come Together? on Coffee Cups is Utterly Pointless
If you haven?t been watching the news lately or paying attention to the illegible sharpie-writing on your Starbucks coffee cup in the past day, let me catch you up as to what?s been going on in D.C.: as of yesterday, Starbucks employees in the District (and the general Washington-area) have been ordered to write ?Come Together? on every cup of coffee or drink that is ordered until Friday. Howard Schultz, CEO of Starbucks, has ordered all of his employees that work in the area to start writing this, ahem, ?cutesie? message in an effort to urge the coffee-guzzling denizens of the District to reach a compromise in Congress before the country careens off of the impending fiscal cliff. An interesting ploy and cute PR move on Starbucks part, but suffice to say there are a few (if not many) flaws in this theory.
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image via TradeArabia
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Actually, there are three major ones that I can personally think of off the top of my head, which I shall address as promptly and succinctly as I can:
- What real fiscal cliff decision makers, i.e. John Boehener, Barack Obama, major party leaders, etc., drink Starbucks coffee? Answer: Probably none. ? Let?s get real here folks: as much as we all drown our gullets with hot brown cups of mediocrity we call Starbucks coffee, I highly doubt key members of Congress or President Obama would touch the stuff. Sure, staffers, lobbyists, and fed employees probably buy gallons of the ?Bucks in any given week, but if you think about it realistically, the chances that critical members of the Senate and House are gazing at an insightful message scribbled ?onto their Starbucks coffee cup during one of the most important legislative crunch times in the past few years are dubious at best.
- ?Come Together? sounds more like politically-correct holiday nonsense rather than a suggestion at compromising over one of the most heated political issues of President Obama?s presidency ? If I were to gaze upon a coffee cup and see the words ?Come Together? scribbled upon my drink, the last thing I would assume they would be referring to is the fiscal cliff. In fact, there are so many things I would assume they would be talking about before I would think ?fiscal cliff?, that I have decided to name a few of them ? holidays, Christmas, visiting loved ones, making friends,?a reference to one of the Beatles songs I like the least, etc. (list goes on)
- After years of getting your name wrong thousands of times over, who the hell actually reads what?s written on their coffee cups? ? Speaking as a guy named Carl who?s seen his name mistakenly scrawled upon coffee cups as Charlie, Charles, Carol, Earl (weird), Callie, and my personal favorite, Carol (so close yet so far), I have ultimately given up gazing upon what I can only assume is a barista?s poor attempt at writing my name correctly. Assuming I?m not the only person who shows as much interest in what?s written on their coffee cup as a wet carrot, who the hell would bother reading a message like ?Come Together? written on their cup?
Let me clarify that I am all about coming to some sort of working compromise before federal sequestration and the loss of Bush-era tax cuts hits this country like a pile of bricks, but writing vague messages that can be interpreted a million different ways on coffee cups in D.C. is not the most constructive way to go about it.
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